Across Fields

–wherever God leads, whether across fields or continents!

New Year Resolutions – a look back

This was originally posted last January 5th.

(Disclaimer: this post is significantly less serious than the last few posts I’ve done here . . . )

New Year’s Resolutions. People love them and hate them. Some people embrace them as a way to start over. Others shun them and say they’re dumb. Still others want to make them, but know that they’ll fail and feel even worse about themselves than they did before.

Me? I’ve never really been the New Year Resolution type. Sure, I have goals and resolutions, but I’d be just as apt to start them on October 19th as on January 1st.

This year, though, I decided I’d try it out–all the other cool kids are doing it.

So, without further ado, I present to you my Resolutions of 2011.

  • I will not get killed by giant turtles
  • I will sing louder
  • I will remember to brush my teeth with the bristly end of the toothbrush
  • I will wear shoes more often (the “more often” leaves things open-ended..it’s all relative, you see)
  • I will check my email
  • I will not put table knives into outlets
  • I will give at least 4 hugs
  • I will drive on the correct side of the road (even though that’s more boring)
  • I will aim for at least 1.3 push-ups a day
  • I will not use “password” or “hello” for all of my passwords

I’ll check back in with you next January to let you know how things went this year!

***

So, here I am checking back in to let you know how I’ve done on my resolutions. I actually think I’ve done a fairly good job this year!

  • I was NOT killed by giant turtles. It came close a few times, but I survived.
  • I definitely sang louder. Just ask the other people who had the misfortune of choosing the same stores as I did to grocery shop in.
  • Check. Remember to brush my teeth with the proper end of the tooth brush. And hey, 21 days of doing something every day forms a habit–so, this isn’t something I should have to worry about any more!
  • Wearing shoes more often. Well . . . I may have failed at this one. It was 17* last night and I was out feeding the chickens and breaking the ice of the horse’s water in my flip flops–and that is fairly representative of the whole year.
  • I definitely checked my email. Like, 2 million times.
  • I didn’t put ANY knives in outlets! Be proud of me. And hey, my hair is STILL curly.
  • 4 hugs. Was that 4 hugs a day or 4 hugs in the entire year? Well, either way, I definitely did this. Well, perhaps I didn’t give 4 hugs EVERY DAY. But there were some days were I got approximately 80 hugs, so…that should cover all the bases, right?
  • Driving on the correct side of the road? Well . . . *sheepish* . . . most of the time? Heh.
  • 1.3 pushups a day? Getting up from off the floor where I fell each day when completely exhausted totally counts as a pushup, so yes…
  • Well, my bank account, Facebook, blog, and email all got hacked in the last year, so I’ve gone fairly defensive on the password front. NO one can get into my stuff now! Not even me . . . . heh. “hello” was so much easier to remember than random smatterings of numbers and letters which were the result of me “headbashing” on my keyboard and then copy/pasting. :P

How did YOU do on your resolutions this year?

Jesus, I my cross have taken.

Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken,
Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.

Let the world despise and leave me,
They have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me;
Thou art not, like them, untrue.
O while Thou dost smile upon me,
God of wisdom, love, and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me,
Show Thy face and all is bright.

Man may trouble and distress me,
’Twill but drive me to Thy breast.
Life with trials hard may press me;
Heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, ’tis not in grief to harm me
While Thy love is left to me;
Oh, ’twere not in joy to charm me,
Were that joy unmixed with Thee.

Go, then, earthly fame and treasure,
Come disaster, scorn and pain
In Thy service, pain is pleasure,
With Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee Abba Father,
I have stayed my heart on Thee
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;
All must work for good to me.

Soul, then know thy full salvation
Rise o’er sin and fear and care
Joy to find in every station,
Something still to do or bear.
Think what Spirit dwells within thee,
Think what Father’s smiles are thine,
Think that Jesus died to win thee,
Child of heaven, canst thou repine.

Haste thee on from grace to glory,
Armed by faith, and winged by prayer.
Heaven’s eternal days before thee,
God’s own hand shall guide us there.
Soon shall close thy earthly mission,
Soon shall pass thy pilgrim days,
Hope shall change to glad fruition,
Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

-Henry Lyte

Wordless Thursday

::Winter Sketches::

Forgive me for being so ordinary while claiming to know so extraordinary a God. – Jim Elliot

Oh, how much this quote describes my life. I have fallen willingly into the “easy life” of just being “normal”. But I claim to be hidden in the very life of Christ, and to have Him dwelling in me…how can I be “normal” while truly living that?

I was reading in Katie Davis’ book and this cute interlude between her and one of her children popped out at me (this is slightly paraphrased because I don’t have the book right here with me)–

‘One of my girls asked me: “If I ask Jesus into my heart, will I explode?” I laughingly replied with “No, of course not!” and then I rethought my answer: “Yes, if Jesus comes into your heart, you will explode.” That is exactly what we should do if Jesus comes to live inside our hearts. We will explode with love, with compassion, with hurt for those who are hurting, and with joy for those who rejoice. We will explode with a desire to be more, to be better, to be close to the one who made us.’ -Katie Davis

When we enter into Christ and He enters into us, it is an exchange–His life for ours. Our life for HIS. It is not a joining of two lives. God is not coming in and joining up with our old life. He comes in and ravishes our life and completely overtakes us….this is how it should be, anyway. We are to be dead to self–our old man absolutely eradicated. Exchanged for the life of CHRIST.

“But know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for Himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto Him.” Psalm 4:3

Set apart: to be distinct, marked out, be separated, be distinguished
to be wonderful
to make separate, set apart

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a NEW CREATION; old things have passed away; behold all things have become new!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

There are areas of life where in this world we are to be extraordinary–but in the heavenly realms, these things are to be the norm.

In our world, it is normal to worry about things that aren’t looking so great. But as a new creation in God, set apart for Him, we are called to “be anxious for nothing.” In our earthly terms, to live this way is extraordinary.

In our world, it is the normal thing to do live a “good life” and just not do “bad things”. As a new creation in God, set apart for Him, we are called to continually “examine [ourselves], whether [we] be in the faith” and to “be perfect as [HE] is perfect.” In our earthly terms, to truly live this way is extraordinary.

In our world, it is the normal thing to do get upset about things, wish our circumstances were different than they really are, to get discouraged at our situations in life, to shy away from pain and persecutions. As a new creation in Christ, set apart for Him, we are called to “rejoice in the Lord always, and again, I say, REJOICE!” In our earthly terms, to live this way is extraordinary.

In our world, it is normal and even wise to have a backup plan, in case God doesn’t come through (although we wouldn’t actually put it in those terms). We specifically plan for “plan B” to kick in. As a new creation in God, set apart for Him, we are to have Christ as our all in all–and once we put our hand to the plow, we are not to even glance back. We are called to extreme faith (“without wavering!”) in the One who has called us–”for He is faithful that promised.” In our earthly terms, to live this way is extraordinary.

In our world, it is the normal thing to do hold a grievance against another when they have specifically wronged you, we feel justified in holding onto our offenses. As a new creation in God, set apart for Him, we are called to forgive, even as the Heavenly Father has forgiven us–completely and utterly, without even a remembrance of any wrong done. In our earthly terms, to live this way is beyond extraordinary.

In our world, it is the normal thing to do to become panicked in a time of crisis. As a new creation in God, set apart for Him, we are called to “be still and know that [He] is God.” The disciples, when panicking over looking death right in the face, are rebuked: “…why are you fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” “In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” In our earthly terms, to live this way is extraordinary.

In our world, it is the normal thing to do to depend on ourselves and our own strength–we are so often specifically even raised this way in our culture. As a new creation in God, set apart for Him, we are called to have complete and utter dependence on God, in absolutely every single aspect of our lives. In our earthly terms, to live this is seen as extraordinary (and is usually seen as stupid!).

In our world, it is the normal thing to do to take time for ourselves, to make our own self feel better, to have “down time”, to pat ourselves on the back for all the good we’ve done and reward ourselves with some time for ourselves. As a new creation in God, set apart for Him, we are called to live as if our lives are not our own–because, indeed, our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and we are not our own. In our earthly terms, to live this is seen as extraordinary.

There are so many more such examples.

The point is that these things should not be extraordinary in the life of Christ–living as the life of God requires of us should be the normal for a life surrendered fully to God. But if the world looks at us as “normal”, we have much to be concerned about!

We are to be showcasing a new creation. A creation made exquisitely by the Master Creator Himself!

True godliness leaves the world convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the only explanation for you, is Jesus Christ to whose eternally unchanging and altogether adequate “I AM!” your heart has learned to say with unshatterable faith, “Thou art!” – Major Ian Thomas

If we are holding onto parts and pieces of our life for any reason, then we have not yet grasped the fullness of the Gospel. When we’ve truly seen Jesus Christ and Him crucified, there is no holding back from giving Him our all…but it should be completely outside of anything we or anyone else may personally receive–it is because this is what the life and death of Christ requires of those claiming His name: abandonment of self and all you once held dear.

And it is with great excitement and willingness that this takes place, because we have seen that He is worthy!

If there are still parts of us that are living “to and for ourselves”, where does full surrender then come into the picture?

Full surrender doesn’t come into the picture . . . it is the picture.

It is not ordinary to desire to be spilled out for the sake of Christ. It is not ordinary to be willing to be looked on as being a fool for the sake of Christ. It is not ordinary to get excited at the thought of dying for Christ’s sake. It is not ordinary to love Jesus more than life itself.

But this is what a life surrendered to an extraordinary God compels us to.

So, I say again with Jim Elliot:

“Forgive me for being so ordinary while claiming to know so extraordinary a God.”

When one is captivated by and allows their life to be ravished and overtaken by so extraordinary a God, they become a “one-note wonder”. JESUS.

JESUS.

JESUS.

That is the cry of my heart. The refrain of my life. And I want that to be the only cry of my heart for the rest of my days–that every breath I breathe would proclaim

JESUS.

Make me ever more dependent on you, Lord. I need you desperately.

We are commissioned to represent Christ! To bear the very name, to bear the very image and reputation of God Almighty!

Don’t pray that God would teach you how to love like He loves; pray that He would fill you with Himself and that He would love in and through you. Don’t pray that He would teach you to have joy; pray that the living God full of joy would enter into you. Don’t pray that He would teach you how to be peaceful; ask for the God of peace, the Prince of peace to infill you. Because if you try to imitate in your own strength, you will be a miserable replica. But if you allow the impartation of Jesus Christ to overtake you, suddenly it all works because it is Him imitating Himself, and He is very good at being God. -Eric Ludy

Wordless Thursday

::The Smells of Baking::

What Can I Do But Praise You?

When I see the beauty of a sunset’s glory,
amazing artistry across the evening sky

When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved by a God so high

What can I do but thank You?
What can I do but give my life to You?
Hallelujah, hallelujah!
What can I do but praise You?
Everyday make everything I do a hallelujah!
A hallelujah, hallelujah!

When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side

Of the cross they nailed You to, that could not hold You
Now You’re making all things new
by the power of Your risen life!

- Paul Baloche -

(originally posted on 8/23/10)

Tonight’s Thoughts

Tonight is a night where everything is so still that I can almost palpably feel the nearness of my Jesus.

Tonight He is whispering to my heart with words of love and truth.

Tonight I am grieving over my own hardness of heart.

Tonight I am thankful for weakness and pain.

Tonight I am unable to sleep because of the aching in my heart.

Tonight is a night of peace and contentment; a night of longing and searching.

Tonight is a night of sweet worship in adoration of my beloved King.

Tonight is the sort of night I’d love to be taking a ramble in the woods, peeking up into the stars above between the branches of the trees, reveling in the majesty of creation.

Tonight, the cry of my heart is “Desiderio Domini!” (“I dearly long to be with my Lord”)

Tonight I am thankful. So very thankful.

Tonight I am realizing afresh my own unworthiness, and the utter worthiness of my God.

Tonight the tears are falling as I pray for my brother who does not yet know the reality of a life lived for Christ.

Tonight my arms are aching for the hugs of my dear kiddos in Africa, and the ones I’ve not yet met all over the world.

Tonight I am hungering and thirsting for more of my Jesus.

Tonight is a sweet gift from God.

Ellerslie


(Ellerslie Chapel – photo not taken by me)

 

Each new semester at Ellerslie brings with it something so special and sweet that I can never figure out how to put it into words. This is probably why I don’t write much about it, even though it’s one of the biggest things happening in my life.

There just aren’t really words.

Some people ask me what my favorite semester at Ellerslie has been, and I’ve always deigned to not answer. But now I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t answer it. Or . . . if I do answer, it’s generally something along the lines of “the current one”. It’s true–at any given moment, my favorite semester of Ellerslie is the current one (or the latest one, if we aren’t currently in session).

This semester is no different. I love this semester.

There have been difficulties, there have been misunderstandings, there have been things that have to be worked through publicly–but all of these things have brought about an even greater sweetness. A closeness of fellowship. A deeper love for each individual as we all throw ourselves individually and collectively at the feet of our Saviour in acknowledgement of our own neediness and unworthiness.

I look around at the faces of each of these students here right now, and I am filled with such a love for each one of them. What a blessing and honor to spend each and every day with people whose heart’s one desire is to know Jesus more and more each day!

A Smattering Of Things I Love About Ellerslie:

  • gaining approximately 60-70 new siblings every semester
  • fellowship and laughter together at the meal tables
  • learning to be in the presence of God every moment of every day–whether through specific prayer times, or while doing the dishes. Continually practicing the presence of God.
  • the times of worship through singing every morning in the little chapel
  • iron sharpening iron
  • afternoons in the Everitt Center–playing music, talking, laughing, and drinking tea
  • the fact that picking up 3 6-foot subs at once at Subway is “normal”
  • lunch tables where all we do is talk about the greatness of our God and the way He has shown Himself great in our lives personally
  • interacting daily with a whole group of people who love Jesus more than life itself
  • spontaneous volleyball and ultimate frisbee games
  • the epic student life activities (I’m not going to give anything away here, because I know future students read this blog….but believe me, we’ve got some great ones!)

 

  • the constant and abiding focus on Jesus as the North Star–the compass point by which we are to live our lives, every moment of every day!

The Weekend

This is one of those days where I just want to write and write and write….and yet the words just don’t come.

Am I to let such a piddly thing as that stop me from writing, though? Never.

I went on a roadtrip with my Jade the other day (yes, MY Jade.) up into the mountains to her family’s house to pick up her younger brother and bring him back with us. It was a lovely trip–we told stories, laughed heartily, sat in silence, read aloud from an Elisabeth Elliot book, careened around corners at high speeds, made pit stops, got a hearty dinner at her parents house, picked up her brother, got a lesson in the “cool lingo” of the day (“dude, that is so nuclear!”), listened to random music, told more stories, laughed a lot more, careened around more corners at high speeds, and made it safely back in one piece.

Well, technically I guess we made it back in three pieces, since there were three of us.

And then on Sunday afternoon Jade, her brother (Charlie), and I, and a couple other folks went mini-golfing at Charlie’s request. It ended with a trip to Spooners and an impromptu concert at the outdoor piano–put on by yours truly and Jade . . . complete with some epic dancing on the sidewalk by Charlie, David (one of our interns), and Stephen (one of the young boys from church).

Charlie is such a sweet kid, and it was so fun to spend a weekend hanging out with him.

 I hope you realize, Jade, that I’m claiming him as my little brother, too, and you shall now have to share him for the rest of your life. And his. ;)

Do you remember?

Memory is a fascinating thing, and today I’m so thankful for memories.

Honestly, I’m thankful for the good memories and the bad. Somehow. I’m not sure how I’m thankful for bad memories, but I guess it’s because the things that come to mind when I think of “bad memories” are things that I can now look back on and see so visibly how God has taken those instances and worked them for great good in my life and my family’s life.

There are definitely memories that I’m very much not fond of, but . . . the good outweighs the bad, by far.

***

I remember the day I tried roller-skating down The 4th Street Hill when I was about 10. It definitely doesn’t stand out as the most brilliant decision I ever made, and I had scars to prove it for awhile, but . . . the adrenaline rush I got still brings a smile to my face.

***

I remember being so confused as to why Mom wouldn’t make me a Green Bean Birthday Cake when I was about 6 years old. People had carrot cake for their birthday. I loved green beans. Why not have a green bean birthday cake? My little brain just didn’t understand why my wish was being denied.

***

I remember many an enchanting hour spent on the white-wicker porch swing on the slate blue porch of The Little White House.

***

I remember the time I packed a real live mouse into my suitcase, and then realized it in the middle of the night.

***

I remember my first ride on an ambulance as a patient. I was headed to the hospital to volunteer when someone hit me from behind at a high-ish speed. I sure made it to the hospital a lot faster than I was originally intending…

***

I remember when I first realized what a fun thing it was to imagine things. Sure, I had imagined lots of things before, but . . . this was the moment when I was completely enraptured with the concept of imagination. What a wonderful moment that was, and oh! how I never want to leave that place of being enraptured.

***

I remember happy days spent down at the wharf catching crabs, touring the Alaska ferry, chatting with the gift shop ladies, throwing bread to the seagulls, and breathing deeply of the scent of salt water and the nearby fish warehouse.

***

I remember many excruciating hours spent trying to learn how to ride the unicycle . . . I was determined!

***

I remember the day Dad set me up with my very own email address.

***

I remember sitting in my brother’s room on his bed the day I first had any contact with the girl who was to instantly become my best friend. Remember that day, Bex?

***

I remember sitting in my little yellow kayak out in the middle of a lake in the Adirondacks of New York and being surrounded by dozens of speed boats. They sped past me, producing waves worthy of surfing on. My poor little kayak and I didn’t know what to do, but after floundering for awhile, we finally made it to shore and survived the whole incident with nothing worse than a strange desire to experience it again. Ah, adrenaline.

***

I remember my first late-night horseback ride, racing through fields drenched in moonlight, hair loose in the wind.

***

I remember writing my very first book. I’d love to go back and read it again (I think. But then again . . . .maybe I don’t want to read it again!) but unfortunately, it was lost in the Laptop Crash of . . . oh, probably ’08-ish? My second book was also lost the same day. And almost all of my short stories. *moment of silence*

***

I remember the very first day of the very first semester of Ellerslie. Oh, the many memories that Ellerslie has added to my repertoire!

***

I remember the day my life flashed in front of me as I headed under the semi-truck. I should’ve died that day, but God miraculously spared me, and I ended up with nothing worse than a stiff neck, a broken axle, a nearly totaled car, and a hysterical mother. She has since recovered. ;)

***

I remember the day I saw the miracle of a life coming into the world. Love you, Kipling Joel Anthony!

***

I remember the day I was excitedly sitting in my very first A&P class. That day ended with a trip to the ER, and within a few days I had made several more trips back to the ER, dropped out of college, and been diagnosed with a life-threatening heart condition. That has been one of the biggest blessings in my life.

***

I remember the day I first realized what a relationship with the Lord truly was to be–a life of intimacy and victory. A daily dying to self and living for Christ. A lifetime of serving and glorifying my beloved King.

***

I remember the day I found out I was officially going to Africa. And then, of course, I remember the day I arrived, the day I first went to the village, the day I first went to the market, the day I ate roasted ants, the day I fell in love with the African culture, and the day I had to leave.

***

I remember the day I first met my chiropractor–one of the first people in the “medical field” (which, I don’t really think chiropractors technically are…) who gave me hope–and I remember the day he officially made it onto my “close friends” list. What a blessing to have a Christian chiropractor who understands and cares and continually directs my attention back to the Lord.

***

I remember the day I told myself I’d one day be a famous singer. Ha.

***

I remember the day I won a sibling-wide contest as to who could fit the largest kitchen utensil into their mouth. It’s not something I often boast about, but I still hold it over my siblings here and there. Probably not the smartest move, considering they have ample room to come back with some “big-mouthed” comment.

***

I remember the big, big swing-set Dad made when I was little. It was adult-sized, and my little 6 year old self absolutely loved swinging as high as possible on it. I told secrets to the clouds as I rose above the tree tops of our little orchard. I wanted to spend the rest of my days on that swing-set.

***

I remember many afternoons of Cops and Robbers with my brothers in the driveway on our bicycles, Cowboys and Indians in the orchard next door–complete with teepees(!), Salvation Army in the back yard, and House/Secret Club/etc behind the chicken house.

***

I could go on and on and on and on and on . . . .

But I think I shall wrap this up, and perhaps sometime do a Part II installment because I had such a fun time reminiscing about all this things.

Oh, the joys of memories!

What are some of your favorite memories?

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